Indian..?? A proud Indian..??

Do you guys feel patriotic..??

Its just a question. I mean, yeah, I feel patriotic. And this time it was Ramit who made me feel so. Well actually the credit goes to Kacie who, in her post, talked about a Burmese couple in The US earning merely earning $1000 a month and supporting a family of 9 people.

A lot of Indians share the same story as this couple. If I have to give an appropriate example for you to visualise such a scenario then 3 idiots's Raju Rastogi (played by Sharman Joshi) is apt to imagine. Since I was born I have lived in Delhi and trust me, it is a boon to live in one of the metropolitan cities. Every year I go to this temple somewhere in Rajasthan and it a sight to watch. It saddens me when I see people living in such misery. We have to walk through the village to reach the temple and what I see there is too heartbreaking. And I am sure that not one of these people complain. Not like we do in Delhi.

Do you remember even a single day when you did not crib. A single day when you did not curse anybody.

Did you not curse the maid for not cleaning the house properly.
Did you not curse the beggars for dirtying your shiny car when the fellow was just trying to wipe it and earn Rs. 2 from it.
Did you not curse the MCD for digging the roads thereby increasing the traffic and the chaos.
Did you not curse your wife, your mother, your cook for putting extra salt in your food.
Did you not curse your boss for he kept you waiting and still shouted at you for not finishing the work.
Did you not curse DMRC because they failed to accomodate the regular commuters but not once you appreciated that they finally brought a metro line in areas which were not connected with the rest of Delhi.
Did you not curse the BRT corridor for not making a separate road for autorikshaws because they keep coming in your way. I know your cursed the rikshaw walas and auto wala for that too.
Did you not curse your slow internet speed of 1 Mbps because you couldnt complete the transaction over the net.
Did you not curse the vegetable wala, the dhobi, the dhoodh wala, the postman the electrician, the plumber because they were not available at your disposal.

I too do the same. We have learned to curse every soul around us. But what about those who have not even heard about an internet let alone crib for its slow speed.

But lets look at those who get nothing. They do not have a car like you do, nor do they have a surround sound music system or even an LCD TV. They do not huge houses like we have. And they have no servants. Not even an iphone. No they have nothing out of these. But yes they have something which we do not have. A huge family to support with a meagre income. And please don't talk about family planning. population control and birth control pills and condoms. I really feel that these concepts are alien to these low income families not because they cannot understand these but because they really need people in their family and they give birth hoping that one person out of all of them would earn and support them. Alas, it doesnt happen that way either.

But it doesnt matter. We have learned to talk about things like these, grieve their existence, curse Indian system for the condition of the underprivileged and then move on with our life and do nothing about it. I dont blame you for this. I too do that. I too get sad when I think about the people but who have to work day and night to make both ends meet. I too shove this thought and move on in my life.

Frankly this is not how I wanted this post to be like. I wanted to talk about my love for India and how patriotic I get at times. I wanted to talk about the Republic day, the Independence day and the like. I wanted to tell you how the patriotic songs like AR Rehman's Vande Matram stirs emotions in me. I wanted to tell you that I like the original "Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" more than I like the newly launched version because it takes me back to the times I have grown up in. 2 days back, I pointed these things out to Ramit. But, today, a different set of emotions took the better of my patriotism.

I love India. Instead of being bothered about the over crowded roads, metros, internet connection, MCD's complaints, we should look beyond our own cities and towns. Peek into those far flung villages and see what life exists there.

My answer to 'why women are so special?'

@ease, one guy who regularly follows my blog and is a very close friend, perhaps wasn't convinced that women need to be appreciated. He demands me to compare my own self and see if I have these qualities in me.

I took it personally and decided to answer him
For your convenience, I will pick up the exact words from my previous post and agrue.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

This is true. I hope there is no doubt about that. Yes, I am as educated as my husband would be and might as well earn as much as he does. I am quite capable of earning that much. I too have some dreams, some of which may remain unfulfilled  once I get married.

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

I have never cooked an entire meal and have never even stepped into the kitchen to do the dishes, clean, or anything. I too was always busy studying when I was a kid and even when I grew up. Infact I was never allowed to enter the kitchen like many other girls, not because we would dirty the kitchen or would hurt ourselves, but because our mothers never wanted us to work till the time we get married. My parents have always let me study and even keep up with my extra curricular activities. Those who have seen me grow up, they know that every year I was a part of something exciting be it lawn tennis, painting, reading, swimming, skating, music. Every year I indulged myself in these actuvities basically for three reasons: One, my parents wanted to keep me busy (and away from the kitchen coz somewhere they knew that I would have to do this after I get married just like my mom did), Two, I was allowed to chose the field that interested me the most, and Three, they loved me a lot and wanted me to excel in every field.

Just like any other woman, and men too, I have lived with my parents, my family, my relatives all these years. Never have I lived away from them. And if guys argue that they have lived away from their parents, then I must add that girls do the same. They too go to schools and colleges away from home. They too live in hostels.

Women know that once they get married, they would have to leave their home and their loved ones and go into a house (which is not a home for her the first day she sets her foot in).

Why are there traditions where the (newly married) girl has to cook an entire meal for the entire family in the new house and the new environment. Why is the kitchen left to all to herself. And if she spills the milk out of nervousness or leaves the kitchen dirty because she doesnt know what is kept where, why does she get to hear that she is jinxed. Why does she has to wake up early in the morning to cook breakfast for everybody when the scoundrel she married is fast asleep because sex kept him awake and drained all the energy out of him last night. Didn't it do the same to the girl. No, she got more than that. Pain too. Then where do the demands come from. All by herself, without her family but with her husband whom she expects would take her side, she works without uttering a word against anybody. Wouldn't I do that even if I don't know how to cook. I feel sorry for those parents who have a daughter.  

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

One, who can be late from work once in a while whendeadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

Yes, guys get jealous when the girl has a past. She leaves everything behind to join him and have a future of their own. The guy too has had a past. If he meets his girl friends, then its nothing but when she meets her boy friends she becomes characterless.
 
And yes, she too has deadlines to meet. She too gets loaded with work. She gets the same weekly off as you do. And I too would get that.  

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

She works day and night to make the relationship work but she can't do it all alone. She needs you. The suport, the love, the trust. She doesn't know anybody in the new house except you and still wants to nake them smile coz they are related to you. All she wants is you to be there right beside her and to hold her hand and take her out of the mess which she might put herself into coz she just entered a new environment.

I dont say that all men are the same and none of them do anything for their wives. No, thats not true. Hell, no. I am happy to be born at the time I was born. I see men doing a lot for their wives. If I don't know how to cook, that does not mean that I will not be a good wife nor does it mean that I cannot keep up with the relationship.

There is another thing that @ease pointed out. He feels that daughters get more attention and care than sons do. And I agree with him. But the answer to this question is so related to what daughters have to go through. The parents know that their daughter would leave them once they have attained marriageable age. So they want to shower all their love and care for the 25 years that they get with their daughters in contrast to the lump sum 40 years that they get with their sons. Yes, there is a difference.

Why women are so special

I got the following mail in my inbox and I thought of sharing it with you. Read through and you'll realise how true it is.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
One, who can be late from work once in a while whendeadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this.......
Please appreciate "HER"

So guys, learn your lesson and appreciate the women around you.

I know you really want to tell me that I have always been good and that you really wanna appreciate me but you have this feeling that I won't like it if you do that on my blog then lemme tell you that I will love it. I enjoy when people praise me. I simple "LOVE IT" :)

And dont forget to let all the women know how important they are in your life.

What comes first and what comes last..??

A few days agao, My best friend Harpreet had the following status message on facebook:


"people do change for gud.... u jus need to hav faith...... :) i too believe i will change, and learn tons from my mistakes n never repeat dem, if only i get forgiveness from da one i hurt......"


And this made me think. Do people really need forgiveness to learn from their mistakes and move on. True it is that forgiveness makes you feel light but I think its a bigger challenge to learn from what mistakes you have done in the past without being forgiven. I am not giving my critics about forgivensss being good or bad for the healing heart. All I am putting forward is my view about how you can move ahead without being forgiven. It will be a cakewalk if you are forgiven for your wrong deeds.But as I said, the bigger challenge lies when you (with a pure heart and soul) want to rectify those mistakes and that too without anybody's support.


Forgiveness comes automatically if you mend your ways. What do you think is better. Being forgiven first and then correcting your mistakes or is it that you first gather all the courage that you need to correct those deeds and then being forgiven. Will it be the same if a hurt heart forgives you before you correct yourself. Lets imagine a scenario to undertsand this.


Imagine a girl who betrayes her husband and goes to another guy. Two-time is a more appropriate word than extramarital affair. Neither does she tell her husband about that guy nor does she tell that guy about her husband. And one fine day (well it must not be fine for all the three involved), the girl confesses her wrong deeds in front of her husband and the guy too. The husband forgives her on the condition that she will mend her ways and they live happily ever after.


Now imagine if this girl corrects herself and comes out of the mess on her own self (without her husband's forgiveness) she will emerge as a winner both in her own eyes as well as in her husband's eyes. If, only once, she gathers herself up and accepts her mistakes and puts her heart and soul in correcting those mistakes and proves to her husband that she is out of this, won't it be better for their lives. Wont there be trust (the same trust that was lost).


No, I am not saying that the latter is the correct way but yes it makes the battle difficult and hence makes you stronger.


There is no surety that the girl will never ever indulge in anything of this sort in future. But if she really wants to improve herself then the second case is most appropriate. And that is where comes in, what is called, faith. Yes, faith that the husband must have in her wife that she will improve. The faith which the wife must have in her husband that he will support her even if he doesnt forgive her.


If I were in her place, I wouldn't have asked for forgiveness. Ummm, maybe I would have since that would have been the easier way out. But yes, correcting your mistakes and then asking your forgivness makes more sense to me.


What do you think. Should forgiveness be the first step? Or should it be the last?

The award and the tags

Ooouuuu, m famous. I got two tags and an award. Heeee... :)

Chitz, Buckingfastard and Ramit. Thanks people. Love you.

Okay, wait. I am ready with my 'thank you speach'. And here it goes:

"Ahem ahem... Well, I ummm.. I am thankful to all those who considered me ummm.. good enough for the award and the tags. I (pause) am a lucky woman and (another pause) it takes a lot of effort to umm..to be eligible for an honour like this. I have spent many sleepless nights and ummm.. tried my level best to be nominated (oops, there weren't any nominations. Shit I need to control my emotions) (giggles) and (this was a long a-n-d) I want to thank all those who have supported me and also those who have spent sleepless nights reading my blog (not because they wanted to read but because they couldn't sleep just like me). I want to thank all my followers and even those who just dropped in to say that they liked my blog but still wouldn't become a follower (a loud laugh coz I thought that I had just 'invented' the funniest joke ever heard). Ummm.. (now that I realise that I am short of words, I decide to show some modesty) I don't want to make this speech long so I better get going. All I want to say here is I love you all. And it feels amazing to be known. Muuuaaahhh...."


(By the way, did you notice the constant smile fixed on my face. You know how it is. I just have to look good so that the pictures come out good.)

Now, I will carry on the tradition and forward the award and the tag to my fellow bloggers.


Going in the chronological order, I'll take the award first. Thank you chitz for considering me appropriate for the award.

Yey..!! I have been awarded the best follower award. Geez, m blushing.

Now it is really difficult to give away this award coz every every follower is better than the other. But since you guys are not interested in my stupid speeches and you are trying to find your name here (caught you), let me come straight to the point. Okay, it is very difficult to give this award to just one person so I am breaking the rule (just like Chitz did) and giving this award to 3 people : Ramit, Buckingfastard Nipun

Congrats guys. You really deserve it.

And if your name wasnt up there, then read on. I still haven't finished.

Now comes Ramit's and Buckingfastard's tag. I need to answer some questions before tagging more people.


1. What is your current obsession?
My car. I hope it lasts long.

2. What are you wearing today?
Blue jeans, red and black sweater (bought it from the men's section) and a black jacket.

3. What’s for dinner?
Rajma Chawal. I wouldn't have known but since it is rajma Chawal, I had to know. I simply love it.

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A recharge coupon for my phone

5. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing. I am in the office.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Two people tagged me. Ummm.. I think buckingfastard is a very frank guy and can make you laugh with his posts. And Ramit, he is a ladies man. :P

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Depends on the size of the house. If the house is huge ( i mean really huge) then I would stick to Delhi. But if the house is small (i mean not that big) then it could be anywhere near the sea.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Shorts and a loose tee

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
On my bed.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Spanish. Always wanted to learn.

11. What’s your favourite quote?
Do not think about what happened in the past and dont worry about what will happen in the future. Just enjoy the moment that you are presently in. (this isnt really a quote but a mantra that I always want to follow)

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
I dont know about whom I want to meet but my boss is the last peoson I want to meet at this moment.

13. What is your favourite colour?
I am obsessed with purple this season.

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
I dont think much about it.

15. What is your dream job?
Anything that makes me use my brain.

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
No favourites.

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
I would go to the most expensive disc and dance the whole night. Drinks would follow.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Keds with formals.
19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Abhishek Bachchan

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Whatever gets into my head. I do not understand haircuts.

21. What are you going to do after this?
Going for lunch.

22. What are your favourite movies?
Lots of them

23. What inspires you?
To be known.
24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Caddy, Chandu, Chando

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Wrong question. It should have been how do I like my coffee..

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I cry.

27. What makes you go wild?
When I am alone and I have my car loaded with all my favourite songs.

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All those in my blogroll

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
I dont like sweets. I simple love RICH DARK BITTER chocolate.

30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
3

31. Favorite Season?
Love rains.

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Maggi. And coffee.

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Ignore them.

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Ghosts.

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I should have washed my hair today.

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
A kid smiling at me

37. A word that you say a lot?
"I know"
38. What would you do if you were made President of India for one day?
I would transfer all the money in my account. Not the president's account but my account.

39. What is that one thing that keeps you going.
Trust that people have in me.


Rules for those who are tagged:


Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.


And, I’ll tag the following 10 :

Sorcerer
Sid
Chitz
Rashmi
Nancy
Shivani
Quirky
Renu
Nipun
Anju


Love you all.

The timing has to be perfect

I finally saw 3 idiots. Okay okay, I know you guys would say that I am late. But the point is that I finally did see the movie. Needless to say that it was a faboulous movie. And I have already talked about my love for the 3 actors of this movie. But I must tell you that I cried like cray in this movie. No, I am not a kid nor m I an emotional fool. But it really touched my heart.

I don't know how it was possible but a lot of instances in this movie made me feel light inside. I found the answers to hell lot of questions that were troubling me since a long time. There were times when I felt that I already knew the answers but maybe I did not have the courage to accept it or to take a strong step. And this is the reason why I believe that I wasn't late in watching the movie. It came at the right time. And I saw it at the right time. And hence it has made me gain back the lost confidence in the saying, "All good things happen to good people". I am good..!! Therefore, Good things are bound to happen. Indeed..!!

"Everything that happens, happens for the good"

I am a strong believer of this age old saying. But I like to be ahead of others and so I also added some meaningful words to the above saying:

"Everything that happens, happens for the good.

And these things happen at the time when you need them the most"

                                                                                                              -Chanz

And so was the case with this movie. Perfect timing. (wink wink)

Yes, there is a lot of truth attached to this statement. Close your eyes and repeat this in your mind. Relate it to those times when you felt low, when things weren't going the way you had expected them to go. When you had cursed your fate and had cried buckets over all the things happening to you. Remember when you had spent those sleepless night figuring out what must be your next step. Now imagine how your life would have been if these things would have happened at some other time than at the time they originally happened. Just imagine, would you have learnt the same lesson if the timing would have been different.

When I look back and remember all the good things that happened to me (mind you, the good things include the things which I had once termed as bad), I get this weird feeling, a sense of satisfaction. I feel relieved that those things happened 'coz everytime something bad happened, I learnt my lesson. A lesson which I otherwise wouldn't have learnt.

So, the point here is that God has given us all a fate. A fate which is like a recipe. Happiness, Sadness, Excitement, Sacrifice, Dissapointment, Hope, Love, Anger, Hatred, and the like are the ingredients. And God has very clearly mentioned  in the recipe, the amount of ingredients to be put in and the time they have to be mixed, sought, marinated, grinded and baked.

It is best not to worry about how it will taste 'coz that is what depends on how well you have understood the recipe.

Can I get them back

At the break of the dawn

Sitting on the bench in the park

Your arms wrapped around me

We watched the sun go up

And the flowers bloom in the lovely spring
The moments that we spent together
Can I get them back

In the scorching heat

I saw you standing in the middle of the road

Licking the melted ice cream like a kid

And I couldnt help but smile

At your innocence that dripped from your face

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

Those rains that we saw together

The puddles that we jumped in

That dancing in the rain

That smile that crossed my lips

That laugh that we shared

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

In those cold winter nights

When we cuddled together

And sipped hot coffee

All that kept us warm

And we made it through the night

The moments that we spent together

Can I get them back

Then came the sping yet again

We again sat on the bench in the park

This time watching the sun go down

And we spent the night under the dark sky

Only that we did not know

That the absence of stars that night

Would take everything away from our lives.

The years that went by,

The seasons that went by,

All have made me learn to live without you,

But they have still left those sweet somethings

In my mind and my soul

The moments that we spent together

Can I still get them back

Resolutions, anyone..??

I have been reading a lot of resolutions made by hell lot of fellow bloggers these days. Some were very seriously written and some were written with the intention of making it hilarious and fun to read. I too had thought of writing a long list of resolutions that I have always had over the years and somehow (like everyone else) I could not follow them for more than a week. Though it was always fun to jot them down and eventually strike them out one by one till none are left to follow. However, this time its not the same. This time its different.



I have no resolutions this time


Not even to loose weight.

I don't want to think. Life is so terribly complicated at this particular time that I don't want to waste time in de-puzzling (if that word exists) it.


Thats not how I am. I am just not feeling myself. Not inside. Not outside. Thats not how I would have spent my new year. True it is that I have always cried on the 1st of January every year without fail. Every year something creeps in my life that makes me shed buckets of tears. But this time it was different. I didn't cry. Not a drop came out. I just kept myself away from everybody on 31st December and 1st January. I so wanted to go out and have fun on 31st. I really wanted to dance like I never had. I wanted to back in form. But I was scared of a lot of things. Tears, to be the most important.


So, the point is that I have no resolutions this year.


Maybe I will take life as it comes. Maybe I will just lossen my grasp and let go. Maybe I would not expect anything from anyone.


The irony here is these are my resolutions.

Uuuhhhhh... What a gift..!!!

The new years eve sucked big time. I stayed at home thinking that my folks would be home and I better not got out anywhere. However, it so happened that my folks went out (trust me, I had no clue about their plans or else I would have joined them) and I had to stay back. And yes I ate aloo gobhi for dinner. Please guys, don't say things like, "Oh you are so lucky that you ate home made food and stayed away from the bustling crowd on new years eve". Please do not say that. I know how exciting it was to eat aloo gobhi all alone at home. I did not even have a single beer.  I feel like pulling my hair and shouting at all those who did not ask me to join them for celebrating.

Anyways. Alone at home, I just hooked on to my computer. Talked to a few people who gave me company by staying home.

But I have to tell you what happened in the morning today. Since I had been sick since the past 3 days, I decided to take another leave from office (3 leaves in a row,I know I will be shot when I go in tomorrow). So, I woke up late and was told to go pick up my bhabhi from the delhi airport. Within 10 mins I was in the car and I left for the airport. And by 11:25 I was inside the airport and guess what I saw. Amir Khan and Sharman Joshi walking out of the exit exactly where I stood waiting for my bhabhi. He was barely 2 feet away. Maybe they have arrived to promote their latest flick "3 idiots". Though I didn't see Madhavan around since they were in front of me for only a couple of seconds. I am sure you must be wondering why am I so excited about this. Well actualy, there are 3 reasons. Firstly, Amir Khan is my favourite actor. He really is. Though I had never seen him in real life, I just realised that he looks more handsome offscreen than onscreen. He is super fair and super cool looking. The exact kind of guy who attracts women. Ha.!! Ha.!! Ha.!! Okay, now the second reason is that I simply love Sharman Joshi's smile. I love the way he acts like a bubbly bubbly guy. A total kid who would win your heart. Well, I love that. And thirdly, I love Madhavan's face. Okay, that is my choice and I don't want to hear anything against it. I really want to marry a guy who has a face like Madhavan's. Uuuuuhhhhh.... I am going back in my dreams. Bye people...

PS: This was the best gift I could have ever got.
PPS: I still haven't seen the movie, "3 idiots" and I already know that I am going to love it.