The Envelope..

Meerha barged into her brother's room and ignored his continuous reminders to knock the door before entering. "Hey what do you think you are doing. Aren't you supposed to knock" he said and hastily opened the top drawer of his study table to put something in. 

"Guess what..!! I am finally going there". Meerha's eyes danced with joy when she said this. 


"Whaaaattt...", Mrigank got up from his seat and hugged her tight. "Are you serious..!!"

"Oh my god!. I can't believe this is happening to me.I am finally going to Australia" she said and instantaneously she was lost in her dream. She imagined herself in Sydney standing on the Harbour Bridge watching the sun vanish into the horizon. She saw herself lying on Bondi beach getting a tan. The spectacular view of the Blue mountain would take her breath away and she would never want to come back.


"Have you told mom?", Mrigank said breaking the silence that was created and bringing her back in the present. She realised that neither of them had uttered a word for two minutes while her mind was taking a tour of Australia. 


"I have no idea how am I going to do that."


"Hmmm" he said and then there was again silence.


"You ought to help me Mrigank. You know what this means to me."


Hearing Meerha call him 'Mrigank', gave him a fair idea how serious she was. She would never call him anything but Mrigu. He knew that her sister would not let this go so easily. He had to do something.

*******

Everyone was eating silently. They could not imagine that Meerha would do such a thing. Her mom was so furious that she left the dinner on the dining table in the middle of the talk  Mrigank could see the anger in her eyes. Or maybe it was sorrow. No anger. Sorrow. Anger. Whatever it was, it definitely did bother her. Meerha just looked at her dad expecting that he would say something, expecting that he would console her like the way he did when she was a kid. She just wanted  somebody to hug her. The silence was killing her. 


"Dad, please say something" she tried to look into her father's eyes who turned away at her glance. 


"Meerha, It was least expected from you." her dad said and neatly placed the spoon on the empty plate in front of him. He rose from his chair and started to go. "I cannot do anything", he added.

*******

After his sister left from his room, Mrigank sat on the corner of his bed and thought about what he would tell his mom. He remembered the day when Meerha made him promise that he would not utter a word about this to anyone. He tried to convince her that what she was doing was wrong. She couldn't just pack her bags and go after her boyfriend of 2 years who was now in Australia. Mom would never agree. And he also knew that she was looking for a match for Meerha who had absolutely no clue about their mom's intention. But now it was going out of his hands. He had to tell her. He didnt want Meerha to go. She couldn't. He would not let her. 

He came out of his room and walked towards Meerha who was standing in passage near the stairs. The sight of Meerha looking so cheerful stopped him from going any further. He loved his sister. He wanted her to be happy. He reluctantly shoved away the thought and startede walking towards her.

"Listen Meerha, he said, "What you are doing is really wrong. I am going to tell mom"

"You are kidding, right?" she gave him a questioning look.

"No, I am serious. I am very serious. I can't let you do this. Sahil is a nice guy but that does not mean that you would leave your family and go live with him when you know that even he has not established himself there. How will you survive."  He looked at her sulking face and tried to explain, "Meerha, its just been 10 months since he started working there. You are really out of your mind. Or maybe I am an idiot that I didn't stop you in the very beginning"

"Mrigu, I need to tell you something but please don't mention anything to mom or dad. Plea..." she stopped in between when she heard her mom call out from the kitchen.

"Mrigank, Meerha. Come down. Dinner is ready"

Both of them descended from the stairs when they heard her voice. Meerha nudged him with an elbow and gave him a pleading look asking him not to tell anything to anybody. He ignored.

The moment they all sat on the dining table, Mrigank began, "Mom Dad, ummm, Meerha is going to Australia." 

Both the parents looked at each other, then at Mrigank and finally at Meerha. "What do you mean she is going? Don't trouble you sister. You have grown up now and stop pulling her leg", she said laughingly and expected her daughter to shout at her brother for teasing her like they always did when they were kids. When neither of them said anything, she figured that something was wrong. She looked at her husband who seemed puzzled himself.

"I demand to know everything", their mom said.

After a mnute of silence, she said "Mom, I am going to australia in 2 weeks time. I am sorry for hiding this all the while but I couldnt ...."

"Stop. I dont want to hear anything. I will not take any excuses" She looked at her husband yet again expecting him to say something this time atleast but he seemed least bothered. She ignored him and looked at Meerha. "If you have decided that you want to go and you didn't even bother to take our permission then we wont stop you. You are free to go and nobody would stop you. Nobody.." Saying this she roughly pushed her chair back and left without saying anything.

*******

"Why was everyone behaving like this. This is not how I wanted the things to be like. No. This is not done.", she said to herself  when she was all alone in her room. "I am not going to talk to anybody now. I will not tell them anything. My mom, my dad and even my bro does not understand me. They didn't even give me an opportunity to explain." She decided that she would not talk to anybody and would leave in two weeks. "They will miss me when I am gone. They surely will.."

*******

Two weeks passed and it was time for Meerha to go. The days in between were miserable for everybody at home. The house was always filled with silence. She needed her parent's help but she did not approach them. Nor did they. Her ego was big enough for everybody. She knew she was right. She wasn't going there for Sahil. Not 'just' Sahil atleast. But how could she tell anybody. Mrigank too had not given her a chance to tell him why she was going. She wanted to tell him but he acted too brotherly. 

She was about to leave. She wanted to hug her mom before going but maybe her mom was too angry at her that she went to sleep when it was time for her daughter to leave. She searched the house for her dad and found him sitting in his favourite room in the house, the library. She gave him a quick hug. A tear ran down her cheek. She promised herself that she wouldn't get weak. It was time to be strong. It was time to go ahead.

"Bye dad. Please take care of mom. And dont worry about me. I'll be fine." She could sense more tears bursting out of her eyes and before they could come out she started walking away. She heard her dad telling her to take good care of herself but she didn't want to turn back. Meerha went straight to her mom's room where she was sleeping  and planted a small kiss on her cheek. She took out an envelope from her handbag and kept it on the table beside her mother. Everything would be okay when her mom would see this. She was positive about it. She looked at her mom one last time and ran out of the room, grabbed her 2 suitcases and rushed out of the house. She wanted to meet her darling Mrigu but even he had ignored her. She went and sat in the cab that she had called to take her to the airport. Her mind went back to envelope that she had left in her mom's room. She let out a small laugh and couldn't help but wonder what her mother's reaction would be when she saw the copy of full scholarship which the University of Sydney had offered her for an MBA...

The date...

Sitting in her room, she gazed at her image in the mirror. She smiled at her self and wondered what feature in her attracts Shekhar the most. She smiled again and made a note to ask Shekhar about this tonight and let him answer.

Tonight was a big night. Shekhar was taking her out for dinner and somewhere deep inside she was sure that he would propose her. She wanted to look the best tonight. She opened her almirah and ran her slim fingers through all the pairs of clothes that hung in front of her.

"Naah", Anushka exclaimed. She had to look special tonight. "I should rush to the market and go get something exclusive to wear", she thought.

She glanced at the White and Gold coloured clock which Shekhar had gifted her on their 1st anniversary of togetherness. Anushka was amazed at how time flies. She wondered how 7 years had gone by. She couldnt help but smile when she remembered how Shekhar used to trouble her when they used to sit together in Class 10th. They never got along well and Anushka always used to curse her teachers for making the so called 'rascal' sit next to her. Little did she know that she would fall in love with the guy whom she hated the most.

"Our story is like a typical Bollywood movie", she said loudly and then bit her tongue realising that she was too loud. After 7 years of knowing each other, they would be getting married soon. She jumped with excitement. She again looked at the White and Gold clock which struck 4. Shekhar would pick her up at 8:30. So there was still a lot of time left and she had loads of work to do.

She picked up the phone and dialled his number. Shekhar's manly voice greeted her.

"Hi baby, I was just thinking about you", said Shekhar.

"Shekhar, Are you still in the office?"

"Yeah, but if you want then I'll come right over". Shekhar let out a funny laugh.

"No sweetheart", said Anushka. "You stay in the office and complete your work. I was thinking that i'll go to the market and buy something to wear tonight."

"Again..?? How many clothes do you girls buy? Oh man, your almirah is too full"

"Oh please, you wont understand"

"Hmmph...I agree, we men can never understand you girls"

"Chalo then, I better go now. Mummy will kill me if I tell her that I am going shopping. I have to think of a bahana as well."

"HaHaHaHa, you wont change. Ok sweety, you go ahead. Will pick you up around 8-8:30"

"Bye honey. And listen.." Anushka was silent and then she said after a pause, "I love you"

"Love you too, Bye"

Anushka smiled. What a relief she gets after hearing Shekhar's voice. She felt that she was again charged and she could go on for forever. She picked up her purse, ran a comb through her hair, applied a smack of lip gloss, grabbed her car keys and rushed out of the door so that she could escape her mom's eagle eyes. She ran in the driveway and unlocked her 2 year old rust coloured Honda City. She looked at her watch again. It was 4:45. She had to hurry up.

She drove till Greater Kailash 1 M block market and her eyes looked for a parking spot. She found one near Cafe Coffee Day. She neatly parked her car and sheepishly smiled and thanked her father for teaching her how to park cars nicely. "Girls can't drive", Shekhar used to say when they were in school. Anushka proved him wrong and still Shekhar was proud of her.

She locked her car and looked through the lanes of the market. Clueless, where to start from, she entered the first shop she saw. After a series of trying the clothes on, making a sulking face, disapproval followed by extreme confusion she came out of the store and wished that she had gone to south-ex instead. There was nothing exclusive that she could find. But then she was short of time. Anushka quickly calculated in her mind how much time she had. "Shekhar will pick me up at 8, so I need to reach home by 7. For that I need to leave from here by 6:45." She looked at her watch and thought "So, I have a total of approx 70 mins left."

She decided that she would enter a max of two shops and get done with it. She quickly ran the names of all the stores she knew and picked 2 names from the lot. She entered into United Colours of Benetton, tried a few dresses and then came out. One last store to go to and she had to pick up the dress positively. While she was entering Esprit, a red and maroon knee length dress worn by the mannaquin caught her attention. She liked it instantly and asked one of the salesmen to show her size in that dress. It fitted so well on her and she looked dazzling. "Shekhar would love it", she said to herself. She asked the sales guy to pack it up for her. She paid and left.

Anushka was all smiles. It was a nice day. She loved every moment of it. Everything was just going perfect. While, walking towards the car she started humming the song "lets make a night to remember" by Bryan Adams. And suddenly she heard an extemely loud noise. She saw people running here and there. There were about 50 people inside the levis store that she was crossing. All of them rushed out and left no room for her to move. There was a total chaos and Anushka realised that there was something really wrong. She stood there trying to figure out what to do and then there was another bang. The next thing that Anushka noticed was that she was thrown several feets up in the air and she landed on the ground with a large thud.

Anushka lay there unable to move. She couldn't see clearly.

She wanted to call Shekhar but her muscles hurt her. She couldn't move. She just lay there thinking. "You look amazing honey, I wish I could hold you tight in my arms", Shekhar would have said. Then she would give him a heart melting smile. They would leave for the restaurant in Shekhar's car and she would rest her head on his shoulders while he drove the car. Shekhar had told her that he had booked a table on the roof top where they would be all alone. And suddenly while they are eating Shekhar would bend down on his knees and take her hand in his hands and say, "Baby, I want to live with you, I want to have kids with you, I want to spend my life with you. Honey, Please marry me" and she would close her eyes and nod. She would open her eyes to find herself in Shekhar's arms but all she could see were people lying on the floor covered with blood...

_________________________________________________________________

The serial blasts in Delhi on 13th September 2008 took us all by surprise. The first blast took place at gaffar market in karol bagh, the next two exposions were in connaught place at Central park and Barakhamba Road. And the last two blasts were in GK 1 M block market. It is a really sad sight. The story written above is fictitious but my heart bleeds when I think that something of this sort may have happened to somebody. If only we could do something...

smashing hit...

Today, in the morning while I was driving to the office, I met with a small accident. Actually, calling it an accident is an overstatement but since this was the first time something happened to my car so I was a bit shaken. Frankly speaking, I wasnt very comfortable while driving the car today. The night before I had a feast of which I will write soon. It was my uncle's birthday and we had all gone out for dinner. I stayed at their place at night. In the morning I wasnt in the mood to go to the office. Very relunctantly, I found my way out of the bed and got ready, sat in the car and drove off. The problem started when I lost my way. The roads and roundabouts near India gate all seem to be alike. I just could not tell one from the other. As a result I didnt know what road to take. Well, actually its not that I was driving through these lanes for the first time. But I dont know what happened to me today that I couldnt reach canaught place from the posh colony of pandara road. I drove from pandara road to central secratariat to raisena marg to what not, but still could not find my way. I was turning left from one of the roundabouts unsure whether it was the same road I was supposed to take, I didnt notice a traffic policeman stopping me. When I finally took the left cut I saw that he was standing behind a tree barely noticeable and was controlling the traffic and I probably had jumped a red light (even though there wasnt any and his hands were doing the work of a traffic light). I was not sure whether he was writing a challan, though it seemed that he was. Anyways, this was a bad start. No mood for office, took a number of wrong roads, got a challan cut...Thats not how an ideal morning should be. And if such a morning ends in an accident then I call it bad luck. And so it happened. I was driving in the rightmost lane and there was a bus trying to overtake me from the left. Knowing the fact that the bus drivers are known to be bad drivers, I stopped my car giving way for the bus to go. Little did I know that the bus would hit my car and will catch me unaware. The bus hit my car from the left and smashed the rear view mirror to pieces. Before I could get out of my car to smash the driver's head, he had fled. Its too bad that I wasnt in the condition to say anything. It was the first time that I had an accident even though a small one. Being weak at heart, I started shaking and wished that I hadnt started off for the office in the first place...

The Betrayal...

When I met you for the first time,
I knew that you are the one,
When you looked at me,
I knew that the gaze was one of a kind,
When you came to talk to me,
I knew that I would be enveloped in this voice forever.
Little did I know that you would be gone sooner than I expected.

Gone are the days when your presence took the better of me,
Gone are the days when your voice filled my lungs with oxygen,
Gone are the days when your touch iginited that spark in me,
Gone are the days when my eyes got filled with tears when they looked at you,
Gone are the days when I wanted to live every moment of my life, not once but twice,
The only thing thats left is the ocean in my eyes,
hungry for that presence, that touch, that voice, that care, that love.

Every night I stay awake, thinking..
about the time that we spent together,
about the time thats lost
about the time that I had my control on,
about the time that I could have stopped
And all that I can understand
is that I was the one who let you go.

My love, what went wrong..??
There is something that brought the unsaid distance between us,
That girl, whom you met a while ago
pleased you much more,
Have you forgotten about the relationship
that we once shared
She came into your life
and took you away from me.
I know that she has gone,
And so has the trust which I was so proud of.

Today, when you said
that I still have you forever
and I have nothing to fear
I just keep quiet
and wrap my arms around you,
I look into your eyes and look for an answer
I dont see a thing
and I cannot explain
what you made me feel before she came.

I know you are with me
But alas, you have gone far away
farther than I ever imagined
I dont see that love in your eyes anymore
I dont feel that spark in your touch anymore
Your voice does not enlighten me anymore
Every morning I wake up
and hope that you would love me today for sure
But, all I can do is love you
without expecting to be loved for more

Ain't that big..??

Today while I was taking my routine morning walk,I was suddenly reminded of the name Walter Hudson. I couldnt associate that name with anything. I kept thinking about how that name came to my mind but to no vain. I just couldnt remember a thing. Then again a small image flashed in my mind. It was that of an English course book that we had in school. Things started falling into place faintly. But I was still restless and I wasnt sure what I had in mind was correct or not. So I googled it. Bingo..!! I was right.

Walter hudson was the fattest man on earth. He weighed more than 500 kgs and had his name come in Guinness Book of World Records. Then i faintly remembered that in our course book we had a picture of this man sitting on a sofa. Now i remembered everything. I read more about him. I was completely devastated when I read his daily average intake of food. Two boxes of sausages, 12 eggs, one loaf of bread, a pound of bacon, four hamburgers, 4 cheeseburgers, eight portions of fries, three ham steaks, two chicken, four baked potatoes, four sweet potatoes and four heads of brocolli. Oh my gosh. Can anybody really have the heart to digest all that. Some say that his waist was approximately 110 inches wide. Thats 'crazily' giant and most unbelievable. But thats not all. Walter Hudson is actually the fourth fattest man on the earth, the first position being held by a Mexican guy named Manuel Uribe Garza who weighs 550 ks approximately.

But Walter Hudson excites me more because he once made the headlines when whe got stuck when he tried to pass through a door. It took 9 firemen to take him out of the mess. This man died in his sleep when he was 41.

It is sometimes really fascinating to read about these kind of people. I realised one thing that the fattest people in this world did not gain weight because they had certain abnormalities but because they liked to eat. Obviously when they gained huge amounts of weight, it was only then that they started suffering from a pool of diseases. I was going through another article and there were about 30 such people who had their weight more than 400 kgs. Walter Hudson liked to eat and did not feel the need to loose weight. A lot of these people have died already majorly due to their weight. So, the best thing to do is stay fit and stay healthy. While I have been writing this blog there is a sense of motivation that is coming in me to loose weight. And I am hitting the gym from tomorrow :)

The dream in my eyes

Star light, Star bright

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

I have a wish I wish tonight...

I have a big dream in my eyes. In these 22 years of my life that I have lived so far, I have made uncountable compromises and sacrifices, some as small as bacteria and some as humongous as a blue whale. On some occassions I wanted to do somethings in life which I couldnt because I had to make someone else happy. Every body makes compromises. Thats a part of life. But I have something else in my mind.

When I was a kid, my parents always pushed me to indulge in various sports and co-cirricular activities. I was always kept busy. I never liked that and considered it as a burden. Now that I have grown up I realise how correct they were in forcing me to do so. I am really grateful that they made a fine woman out of me.

However, there were a few things that my parents didnt do to me. There are still a certain qualities which 'if' I had, I would have been a different person altogether. Its not that my parents are to be blamed for that but there are other external factors which sometimes do not let us do what actually is intended.

But when you talk about me and my future, I will fight against all odds and never let these factors affect the lives of my children. You have got that right, I dream of making my children's lives easier. My future children will be polished to the core so that they make themselves independent and self sufficient to stand in front of the whole world. That is my dream.

There will be no compromise made when it would come to my children. They will be tough. I am still unmarried, I dont know what my future is going to be like, who will be my husband, how will my in-laws be. I have no answer to these questions. But somewhere deep inside I know that even if my husband and my in-laws do not support me, I will still bring the best out of my kids. And for that I need to prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. To make my kids self-sufficient, I have to make my self completely self sufficient and in control of my own self. Ofcourse, the love and support from my husband and my in-laws would be an added benefit.

I wish to see my children doing what I couldn't do. I wish to see my children know all that I didnt know. I have a dream in my eyes. A dream without an end...

When the glass breaks..

Trust is a five-letter word but i feel that there is nothing bigger and more complicated than this. Every relationship in this wide world, no matter how big or small, must have exactly the required level of trust in it. Even a relationship like that of an employer and the employee or even between those who are involved in crime cannot work without trust. And when it comes to love then trust is the only thing that keeps the relationship going.

Today i was wondering why is trust so important in our lives. We must have talked about this so many times with our friends but it is a never-ending debate topic with constant flow of arguments and objections. The truth, which no can can deny, is that trust is as delicate as a glass which can break even by the most gentle breeze. And once broken it would take the strongest adhesive to put it back together and would still carry a mark forever. Sadly, trust is no different.

The reason why i am using the word trust in every sentence is because I want to emphasise on it to a great extent. However, as our ancestors have always taught us that anything done in extreme limits is bad. Likewise, trusting somebody to a great extent is bad. Yes, there are no two doubts about that. People who are gullible and who trust people easily are nothing but emotional fools. All through my life, I have come across a number of people who make a fool out of themselves without realising the depth of the pit they have put their foot into. These people gain nothing but definitely loose their confidence and not to forget self respect.

There is no "one" rule about how to trust somebody, how much to trust and when to trust. It just comes through experience and sometimes through our own sufferings. The least we can do is to keep our hearts pure lest the sound of the broken trust will be loud enough to deafen our ears...