Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Betrayal...

When I met you for the first time,
I knew that you are the one,
When you looked at me,
I knew that the gaze was one of a kind,
When you came to talk to me,
I knew that I would be enveloped in this voice forever.
Little did I know that you would be gone sooner than I expected.

Gone are the days when your presence took the better of me,
Gone are the days when your voice filled my lungs with oxygen,
Gone are the days when your touch iginited that spark in me,
Gone are the days when my eyes got filled with tears when they looked at you,
Gone are the days when I wanted to live every moment of my life, not once but twice,
The only thing thats left is the ocean in my eyes,
hungry for that presence, that touch, that voice, that care, that love.

Every night I stay awake, thinking..
about the time that we spent together,
about the time thats lost
about the time that I had my control on,
about the time that I could have stopped
And all that I can understand
is that I was the one who let you go.

My love, what went wrong..??
There is something that brought the unsaid distance between us,
That girl, whom you met a while ago
pleased you much more,
Have you forgotten about the relationship
that we once shared
She came into your life
and took you away from me.
I know that she has gone,
And so has the trust which I was so proud of.

Today, when you said
that I still have you forever
and I have nothing to fear
I just keep quiet
and wrap my arms around you,
I look into your eyes and look for an answer
I dont see a thing
and I cannot explain
what you made me feel before she came.

I know you are with me
But alas, you have gone far away
farther than I ever imagined
I dont see that love in your eyes anymore
I dont feel that spark in your touch anymore
Your voice does not enlighten me anymore
Every morning I wake up
and hope that you would love me today for sure
But, all I can do is love you
without expecting to be loved for more

Monday, June 22, 2009

Ain't that big..??

Today while I was taking my routine morning walk,I was suddenly reminded of the name Walter Hudson. I couldnt associate that name with anything. I kept thinking about how that name came to my mind but to no vain. I just couldnt remember a thing. Then again a small image flashed in my mind. It was that of an English course book that we had in school. Things started falling into place faintly. But I was still restless and I wasnt sure what I had in mind was correct or not. So I googled it. Bingo..!! I was right.
Walter hudson was the fattest man on earth. He weighed more than 500 kgs and had his name come in Guinness Book of World Records. Then i faintly remembered that in our course book we had a picture of this man sitting on a sofa. Now i remembered everything. I read more about him. I was completely devastated when I read his daily average intake of food. Two boxes of sausages, 12 eggs, one loaf of bread, a pound of bacon, four hamburgers, 4 cheeseburgers, eight portions of fries, three ham steaks, two chicken, four baked potatoes, four sweet potatoes and four heads of brocolli. Oh my gosh. Can anybody really have the heart to digest all that. Some say that his waist was approximately 110 inches wide. Thats 'crazily' giant and most unbelievable. But thats not all. Walter Hudson is actually the fourth fattest man on the earth, the first position being held by a Mexican guy named Manuel Uribe Garza who weighs 550 ks approximately.
But Walter Hudson excites me more because he once made the headlines when whe got stuck when he tried to pass through a door. It took 9 firemen to take him out of the mess. This man died in his sleep when he was 41.
It is sometimes really fascinating to read about these kind of people. I realised one thing that the fattest people in this world did not gain weight because they had certain abnormalities but because they liked to eat. Obviously when they gained huge amounts of weight, it was only then that they started suffering from a pool of diseases. I was going through another article and there were about 30 such people who had their weight more than 400 kgs. Walter Hudson liked to eat and did not feel the need to loose weight. A lot of these people have died already majorly due to their weight. So, the best thing to do is stay fit and stay healthy. While I have been writing this blog there is a sense of motivation that is coming in me to loose weight. And I am hitting the gym from tomorrow :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

The dream in my eyes

Star light, Star bright
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
I have a wish I wish tonight...

I have a big dream in my eyes. In these 22 years of my life that I have lived so far, I have made uncountable compromises and sacrifices, some as small as bacteria and some as humongous as a blue whale. On some occassions I wanted to do somethings in life which I couldnt because I had to make someone else happy. Every body makes compromises. Thats a part of life. But I have something else in my mind.
When I was a kid, my parents always pushed me to indulge in various sports and co-cirricular activities. I was always kept busy. I never liked that and considered it as a burden. Now that I have grown up I realise how correct they were in forcing me to do so. I am really grateful that they made a fine woman out of me.
However, there were a few things that my parents didnt do to me. There are still a certain qualities which 'if' I had, I would have been a different person altogether. Its not that my parents are to be blamed for that but there are other external factors which sometimes do not let us do what actually is intended.
But when you talk about me and my future, I will fight against all odds and never let these factors affect the lives of my children. You have got that right, I dream of making my children's lives easier. My future children will be polished to the core so that they make themselves independent and self sufficient to stand in front of the whole world. That is my dream.
There will be no compromise made when it would come to my children. They will be tough. I am still unmarried, I dont know what my future is going to be like, who will be my husband, how will my in-laws be. I have no answer to these questions. But somewhere deep inside I know that even if my husband and my in-laws do not support me, I will still bring the best out of my kids. And for that I need to prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. To make my kids self-sufficient, I have to make my self completely self sufficient and in control of my own self. Ofcourse, the love and support from my husband and my in-laws would be an added benefit.
I wish to see my children doing what I couldn't do. I wish to see my children know all that I didnt know. I have a dream in my eyes. A dream without an end...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

When the glass breaks..

Trust is a five-letter word but i feel that there is nothing bigger and more complicated than this. Every relationship in this wide world, no matter how big or small, must have exactly the required level of trust in it. Even a relationship like that of an employer and the employee or even between those who are involved in crime cannot work without trust. And when it comes to love then trust is the only thing that keeps the relationship going.

Today i was wondering why is trust so important in our lives. We must have talked about this so many times with our friends but it is a never-ending debate topic with constant flow of arguments and objections. The truth, which no can can deny, is that trust is as delicate as a glass which can break even by the most gentle breeze. And once broken it would take the strongest adhesive to put it back together and would still carry a mark forever. Sadly, trust is no different.

The reason why i am using the word trust in every sentence is because I want to emphasise on it to a great extent. However, as our ancestors have always taught us that anything done in extreme limits is bad. Likewise, trusting somebody to a great extent is bad. Yes, there are no two doubts about that. People who are gullible and who trust people easily are nothing but emotional fools. All through my life, I have come across a number of people who make a fool out of themselves without realising the depth of the pit they have put their foot into. These people gain nothing but definitely loose their confidence and not to forget self respect.

There is no "one" rule about how to trust somebody, how much to trust and when to trust. It just comes through experience and sometimes through our own sufferings. The least we can do is to keep our hearts pure lest the sound of the broken trust will be loud enough to deafen our ears...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Unlock what you already have...

A few months ago, I was casually going through the books, organised very neatly, in my maasi's miny library at home. I being a very keen reader, took out 3-4 books from the entire lot, brought them home hoping to read them sometime. Little did i know that these books will be shoved into a corner and forgotten about.

One fine day, while cleaning my room, I came across the books which i had brought. One of the books caught my attention. It was titiled "Unlock your ESP potential" by Deepak Roa. I really didnt know what ESP meant. When i started reading I couldnt help but wonder whether all that I was reading was true or not. ESP or extra sensory perception can be used to excel in life. We must have all heard about intuitions, telepathy, deja-vu, premonitions and the like. Just talking about this topic gives me goosebumps. Somewhere deep inside I know its all true but I also dont want to believe this. I felt the need to talk to someone about this.
So, I brought this topic in front of my best friend. I tried explaining that i too had strong intuitions about certain things. I too had experienced deja-vu. I was getting extremeny irritated all these days because every thought that crossed my mind was analysed to such great depths that it left me frustrated. Every small event that became a part of my life was seen as if it had alread occured. And then I thought of writing to the author of the book. But I still cudnt get myself up to do that because I truly did not have anything significant to tell him. The incidents narrated in the book were far too severe and too eventful. I decided not to write to.
Then, one day I had a very bad fight with one of my friends. He didnt talk to me for 2-3 days. I was really upset and heartbroken. Then something happened that made my belief over this topic so strong that I would be hard to stir it. No, I am not going to narrate an incident explaining that I had such and such intuition or telepathy or something of that sort. I didnt but my mom did. She called me up late one night. She asked me whether i was upset or was something bothering me. I was taken aback by that abrupt question so I responded negatively to her. She further asked me if i had a fight with a friend, was i goining through a bad phase, was i unable to sleep and eat. I was too shocked to say anything so I told her the truth. A lot of people might say that all mothers have that ability to understand what her child is going through. But a very few may be able to explain why mothers are able to do so. The answer is simple.
Extra sensory perception comes when your heart and mind is directly connected to the other person. The closer you are to that person, stronger will be the ESP. Everybody in this world has some percentage of ESP potential. The sooner we get hold of this trait, the better.