Thursday, December 31, 2009

Is there someone

Is there someone
whom you want to talk to
about something that has been bothering you

Is there someone
who is waiting for your call
and you know your call would bring a smile on their faces

Is there someone
whom you have hurt
and a simple sorry would ease out their pain

Is there someone
who is looking upto you
for support, for love, for care

Is there someone
waiting for you
to say that you love her

Is there someone
who spends sleepless nights
crying for your love

Is there someone
who expects you to apologize
for mistakes that you made

Is there someone
who wants to clear out things with you

Yes, pick up the phone and call her
tell her that you love her

Pick up the phone and tell him
that you never meant to hurt him

Tell her that things wouldn't be the same without her
Tell her that she has made your life beautiful
Tell her that you are coming to meet her
Tell her to look into your eyes
And let them do the talking

Tell him that you missed him
Tell him that your days aren't complete without him
Tell him that you are coming to meet him
Tell him to look into your eyes
And let them do the talking

Few hours are all that we have got
Few hours before the new year begins
Speak up before its too late
Talk for once and be happy for forever
Dont take any regrets in the new year
Start afresh, start anew

Wish you all a very happy new year.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Back to Delhi

I descended down the stairs. It was 17 degrees outside. Even though the sun was shining bright, I could feel a cold wave brush against me. That made me smile for I was back to my own city. My own delhi. I turned back and in my own way, I thanked the airplane, standing in front of me, for bringing me back from Baroda. Not that I didn't like Baroda. I loved that city. I loved the people. And yes, I loved the houses (well that is what I had been eyeing all the while.) Dont be surprised if I decide to marry a guy who has a huge beautiful house. Talking of guys, I must tell you about the chap who was on plane. Well, when I am saying that he was on plane I mean he was one amongst the cabin crew. Needless to say that the point of me mentioning him is ofcourse that he was amazingly handsome. (To my guy friends: Dont be jealous 'coz I am still yours. And to my girl friends: Don't be jealous either, especially if I tell you that he smiled at me). Lol

On a serious note, the wedding was simply amazing. I was from the bride's side. She married an Irish guy. So all the people who were from his side were foreigners. It was beautiful to see them be a part of the traditional Indian wedding. I talked to a few of them and the women looked extremely impressed at the varied colour choices they got. They were happy to wear the Indian traditional dresses like lehenga and sarees. Some of them looked really nice especially the ones who did not have a flat butt (girls with big butts and a curvy figure look much better than those whithout these). And ofcourse they were extremely fair, so that is an icing on the cake.

And yeah. I have to tell you about the wedding. The baraat just had firangs. Obviously they didn't know what to do in the baraat so they just walked silently until my brother took the initiative and started dancing. The firangs followed suit. And whoaaa.. The baraat had all white men and women dancing to the tunes of bollywood songs with their thumkas and jhatkas. Trust me, it was a site to watch them dance. You couldn't help but laugh.

Now let me leave the Irish and the Americans for a while and lets talk about the Gujratis now (though I know I will be back talking about them). Well, have you ever heard of a baraat without the dhol. That is what happens in a Gujrati wedding. They play recorded music with speakers all over the place. God, that was incredible (maybe different). While we stood inside for receiving the baraat, the firangs loved dancing to those popular (and not so popular) songs.
Basically the wedding was quite different than those in Delhi. We reached the venue at around 5:30 and by 7:15, everything was done. Absolutely everything and the reception bagan sharp at 7:30. If it had been Delhi, the guests would have kept pouring in till 10 or maybe even 11. And I have to tell you that the wedding was very simple. Even though the gujjus are awesomely rich, their weddings are much simpler than the punjabi weddings. If I have to say it in simple words, I would say that gujrati weddings do not have show sha baazi unlike the punjabi weddings. They have their own unique style of showing off their money. When you go to a place like Baroda, you must not miss the houses and their lawns. Frankly, you cannot have such houses and such beautiful lawns in Delhi. Maybe the climate and the soil there are best for growing plants. I do not have much knowledge about this so I better not comment. But I must appreciate their choice of plants. Incredible.

You know what. The king and the queen of Baroda too had come to attend the wedding. It was amazing to see them there. Not that they looked or dressed like one, but when I heard about them it made me look up to them. Ofcourse I started noticing them thereon. They looked like just another guest at the wedding. (I don't know why am I telling you this). Simple clothes, simple jewellery.  Ranjit Singh Gaekwad and Shivangi Gaekwad. The present king and queen. Their daughter has married a commoner. But their daughter in law was amazingly beautiful. She looked stunning in a very simple green saree and a diamond set. It felt nice to see them at the wedding. I was told that they came at the wedding when my brother got married 13 years ago. And I remember going to their palace. I really wanted to go this time too but we were short on time.

There is a lot to tell you guys.

I will keep posting.


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Off to Baroda

Remember, I had told you guys about the weddings lined up. Well yes, there is a wedding in baroda and I am leaving tomorrow. I will be back by Saturday. It is a short trip though. Hopefully it will be good. I so badly needed a change and here it is.

You guys already know that life hasn't been at its best since the past 1 month or so. Something keeps creeping in and leaves me sad and upset. There is a lot to say but I am unale to speak up. The only person who gets to hear it all is me. So, when I drive (the only time when I am alone) I am always crying 'coz I hear Chanz speak her heart out.

But I hope that this Baroda trip would cheer me up and I would be back with an ever smiling face.

Apart from the wedding, I have to meet a friend of mine as well. Actually he is my best friend's boyfriend. He works there and we haven't met since quite some time now. The plan is that he would come and meet me at the hotel I would be staying at. The bad thing is that I can't remember the hotel name. God, I dont know where will I ask him to come. (Please don't ask me to call people in Baroda and ask 'coz I think you guys are forgetting that the people there will be super busy for it is "shaadi ka ghar")

Maybe I will call up tomorrow before leaving.

And guess what. I have already spent my two months salary on clothes, bags and hair clips, I am still short of two sandals and 2 clutch bags. There are 5 functions to attend. Gosh, dont know what wil I do there without those two sandals. (Guys, i mean 'men', please don't say things like "Chanz you are talking like a girl. For heaven's sake, I am a girl. A woman. A fine lady). Sshhh, don't laugh.

And trust me I am super excited about going to Baroda. Its been 12-13 years when I last went there. My brother got married in Baroda. I still remember certain parts of that trip, but yes I was a kid then.

And yeah, I wont be able to read any of your posts. I don't think I'll get an internet connection. I wont have the time either. Busy girl, thats what I will be.

See ya people..


Monday, December 21, 2009

The End

Good things happen to good people. Today as a I stand as an individual, I am dead against this saying. Good things never happen to good people. Never.

G has left me. He really has. Not because M mailed me. But he has his own reasons.

Maybe I'll leave the story for sometime later.
Love triangle and love quadrilateral, as people call it, is interesting only in the movies. It hurts in real life.
The only thing I can say here is that I went out of the way to help the girl (atleast took the first step), (I'll call her J 'coz she is always J of me). who loved G. Well J and I both loved G. And god played a game with us. J and I were room mates.

Before you get confused, lemme tell you again
G - my boyfriend (who is now my ex)
M - my ex boyfriend
J - She loves G too.

G couldn't take it all so he just told both of us that its all over.
And here I am sitting and crying hoping that he will return..

Just 2-3 days back I prayed to God to bless us both and not to let G leave me. On the contrary, he made him leave me. Guys please dont say things like "whatever happens, happens for the good". I dont want to hear that. I really don't. If this is true then it can't be true that I said in the beginning. Good things don't happen to good people. And if this is also true then maybe I am not a good woman. Maybe I never was.

Aaahhh... I need a hug.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Come what may

I turned around and looked back
I saw you holding my hand
Taking me out of the hole that was black

Now with open eyes
I see you holding my hand
Your touch makes my blood rise

The future which I can't see
I wish that you would hold my hand
And that, my darling, is no sin

There was a time when I was scared to hold your hand
Scared of what people might say
But you took my hand and gave me the strength to fight back

Now, I am all yours
This is the moment that I wish would last
Your love is what I need

But God has everything planned for us
I don't know what the future beholds
But yes, all these days I did pray to the almighty
To let you be with me
'coz not a moment goes by
without your thoughts crossing my mind
So honey don't ever leave me
not because I love you so much
but because I know you love me too.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Oh shucks..

Why is it when you are happy with what you have, someone comes and takes it all away. A phone call. A message. An email. A meeting. Can you really imagine that it takes away everything. 

Well thats what happened with me. When I am quite happy with the guy (lets call him G) in my life right now, my ex boyfriend (Lets call him M) wants to blow it all off. I dont know if he wants to interfere but he has already done that. I am over him then why is he coming back. 

Okay. Lemme tell you what happened. M mailed me after 2 years asking me how I was, how my professional life was, etc etc. The thing is that he wants help from me. Advice, you could say. About what should he do after some post graduation that he did from UK. Well, we broke off before he went there and all the news that I got about him came through common friends. He left me in a bad condition. When I really needed someone by my side, he wasn't there. He just left. And then came my guy. G took me out of the mess. He lend me a shoulder to cry on. He did everything for me. Every damn thing that you can think of. 

But I didnt like the email. 

I don't want that email to spoil my life, again. I told G about it and we haven't discussed about it as yet. But I am sure that he is hurt. Hurt that M mailed. True it is that I loved M a lot in my old days, but not anymore. He has gone and so have his memories. Why does he want to play. Doesn't he want to see me happy. Content with all that I have, I had totally forgotten M. And then there is G with me. Always staying on my side, supporting me in everything. We have already spent about 2 and a half years together full of our own sweet memories and moments to cherish. I don't want things to change. 

I hope that G stays in my life and doesn't leave me like M did. 

I experienced the bad phase and I don't want to re-live it. 

O Lord, Please don't let the bad take over. I am one of your many children. Don't take your hands off me. Don't let the happiness fade away. U had send G to wipe my tears. Don't let him go away. I can't be greedy, so I will ask you not only to bless me but also G for he has made my life worth living. O Lord, bless him too. 


BEWARE.. Dont lend happiness

Whoever said that happiness comes in a complete package is terribly wrong. And the person who said that happiness comes to those who are lucky, must be ignorant of what happiness is. Well, I guess that happiness comes to those who are unlucky. I am a lucky girl, thats what everybody says. But happiness doesnt come so easily.

Oflate, I have noticed that no matter what I do to make others happy, it backfires and leaves me upset. I try to make one person happy, inturn I end up making the other person sad. This is not something new that is happening. But its been going on since forever..

There is a marriage counselor i know. She is just an aquaintance. I came to know that she had an awful marriage. Her husband used to beat her up. Her in-laws were against her. Her marriage ended in a divorce. And she is now a marriage counselor.

Then there are the reiki healers. They are supposed to give you peace of mind by instilling positive energy in you. They are the ones who take the negative energy out of you. Thats what everybody knows about them. But the reality is that they have to face the turmoil of that negativity, all alone. Mental instability is what they get after providing stability to others.

The astrologers (who are considered to be frauds by most people). They tell you (or rather warn you) about all the bad things that could possibly hapen to you and thereby tell you ways to minimise the effects of the so called 'bad phase'. But have you ever wondered why they cannot predict anything about themselves correctly.

The point I want to make here is that those who lend happiness to others, they tend to be the most unhappy of the lot.

Lets, for a minute, forget all these professional counselors, reiki masters, astrologers, and even the doctors and the like. Lets just concentrate on our own selves. In our daily lives. That happens with everybody. I think so. And I am not different. Or maybe I am 'coz people keep telling me that I am quite different. I call myself lucky. Lucky without any happiness. Lucky. Thats what I am.

You know what.. (Actually I had promised myself that I will keep this post general and not talk about my sorrows but I just can't control and I don't want the flow of my feelings to break). Back to the point, I was telling you about my unhappiness. Well, no matter how much I try to make the others happy, I always leave one or the other person sad. And that one person makes my life hell in making me realise that the happiness that I so wishfully imparted was a wrong decision. And when I do something good to make up for the one who unknowingly became a victim of my happiness-turned-sour, it makes a third person sad. And the vicious cycle continues. And I am the one who suffers the assault.

But then life goes on. We keep walking down the lane hoping that i will be happy and the people around m will be happy with what I do for them.



Sunday, December 13, 2009

Is it dark enough..??

It was about 5 o'clock in the evening. I had just left from my office and was driving back home. And my mom was sitting next to me. Extremely tired that she was for not sleeping since the past two days, she dozed off. All I had to do was drive silently (without the music system on, ofcourse). So, I sat driving through the traffic. The day before this, I had got a long lecture from my dad about switching on the head lights early. He had talked about why we should turn on the headlight even when before it gets dark. "Its not for you to see, but its for you to be seen", thats what he pointed out. He had gone on and on talking about this and constantly questioning me if I actually do follow it. And I just said yes (though I turn it on when I am unable to read the speedometer). But obviously I couldn't say that and I told him that I already do that. I am sure he wasn't impressed since he knows his daughter. But there was no further discussion about this topic.

So, remembering his words, I switched on the headlights. It was getting dark. Infact, I realised that it was darker than usual. No wonder. The sun definitely sets earlier in winters. But this early was new to me. It must have been around 5:15 by my watch. Now with the headlights turned on, I felt good. Happy that I am atleast following what my folks say. I felt like a big girl. Or maybe I should say that I felt responsible. Inside, I felt so happy that I made a note in my mind to do this everyday.

With a smile on my face, I kept noticing other cars And I had this proud feeling when I saw not even a single car had their headlights on. Not even one. Maybe they would do that later. So to keep a track, I continuously kept looking around and kept my glance fixed on the rear view mirror to see who all turned their headlights. (I know I was acting like an 18 year old girl who has just learnt driving and is on the lookout for all those who commit a mistake). But I was actually enjoying this and decided to tell my dad that nobody switched on their head lights. I knew that he will be very proud. Atleast I will get a pat on my back for being extra cautious. 

However, I was amazed when nobody switched on their headlights. I checked the time in the digital clock below the speedometer. It said 5:35. I was in a fix. Either my clock wasnt working properly or all the people out on the road at that time had forgotten that there was something known as "headlights".  But it was too dark now.  Maybe the sun had set too early today. Umm... No. Maybe the sun had set too fast. I remember seeing the orange sun when I had left from office so I knew that the sun had come down on it usual time. But nevertheless, I was proud that I had switched on the headlights way before I generally do.

"Well, anyways." Why should I be bothered. I tried to distract myself. I adjusted my sunglasses coz I had been wearing them for a long time now. 
And I was like, "W-H-A-T   T-H-E    F-U-C-K?" Sunglasses..?? I had been wearing my sunglasses ever since I left. My extremely dark Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses. No wonder, it was so dark outside. 

Now thats called popat...

PS: I am glad that my mom had been sleeping and she didnt see my confused expression earlier. It is time for me to feel embarassed. Geesh...!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Ding Dong

He was too lazy to get up. He just wanted to be alone. An interference from somebody unknown was the last thing he wished for. All that he wanted was to shut himself and spend time with his own self.

Ding Dong. The doorbell which went for the second time, finally made him rise from the couch potato that he had lately become. Reluctantly he walked towards the door and opened it. And before he could realize what was going on, he was thrown back. Failing to keep his balance, he fell with a thud with his back hitting the expensive Italian marble which his mom had chosen with great detail.. 

Caught unaware, he tried to concentrate. His eyes grew wider. He could not believe this was happening. It had to be a dream. It was so unreal to be true. But the wetness that he felt on his lips woke him up from his slumber. It was definitely true. She was here kissing him madly. And suddenly he realized that his mouth was open with shock. He had not even kissed her back. But he had to admit that it felt great to be kissed again. 2 months had passed since they had even talked to each other. He loved her. And he was happy to see her again. Tears took the better of him. They wouldn't stay behind that heavy heart. They just flowed.

"Your lips taste salty", she said and winked. "Eating a lot of salt these days, huh?", she asked jokingly. And she licked his tears off.

He laughed. He wanted to ask her a million questions about where had she gone. What had got into her head? Why had she left him alone? And more importantly, why had she come back? But this was not the time to ask her. These questions could wait. The only thing which couldn't wait was his thing that got hard with her touch. The kiss made him hungry. Hungry for his own Urvashi. The girl whom he loved.

He took her face in his hands and bit her lips. She moaned and he bit even harder. She let out a scream and he licked her. He kissed her like it was his first time. She let his tongue slip into her mouth. He ran it all over her teeth. He was ready to become her toothbrush that day.

His one hand started moving down. And before she knew it, he cupped her boobs and started caressing them. How much had he missed her boobs. He remembered how he used to keep his hand on her two assets while she slept beside him. He had really missed her body just as much as he had missed her. But now he had to concentrate on her since he was doing it after 2 months. 2 full months complete. He unbuttoned her shirt. He had already got a glimpse of her black lingerie. They had bought it together. He knew that even today she had taken care of his likes and dislikes. And he felt the urge to tear her bra apart. And eat her like he never had tasted her. She gasped as he tore open the bra. 

"I thought that you loved this bra", she said. "And hey, how am I going to go back"

"I ain't letting you go anywhere this time"

And yet again they were lost in a never ending kiss. But it did end. When her hand reached over his thing. It got harder with her hand over it. She quickly unzipped him and freed him off his jeans. It was evident from the hurry that she too was hot inside. And within another 30 seconds, they both stood naked in front of each other. He picked her up and carried her to his room.After a series of kisses, tight hugs and licking and purring he finally entered that steaming hot entrance. Their thighs made a sound as they hit against each other. The moaning grew louder. But neither of the two were ready to stop. They wanted to go on and on. The entire day. And the night was waiting for them too...

Monday, December 7, 2009

Friends, who are not just friends

It was a cold winter evening. She stood in the balcony of her apartment on the 7th floor. With a mug in her hand, she silently took a sip of her coffee. It didn't taste too good. The coffee was not as strong as she was used to. A coffee addict that she was, she walked towards the kitchen and very silently she took out the coffee jar from the cabinet which stood about half a feet above her 5'2" frame. She let out a small laugh as she compared herself with her best friend who was much taller than her. That gave her a heart ache. Thinking about her best friend made her upset. She quickly brewed another mug of coffee and walked back to the balcony. Her eyes followed the long road which was bustling with cars. Her gaze reached uptil the horizon. Until she could see no further. And then a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it off with the back of her hand and sipped her coffee. Though there was no one at home, she still did not want to cry. She did not want to look weak. Not in her own eyes. Fighting her own tears, she stood in the balcony and continued to stare at the world moving fast in front of her...

No one can live a life in isolation. Everybody has a family. A family, which really cares about you. A family for which you care about. Then there are friends around you to make you laugh, to make you happy, to bring a smile on your face. Also there are some dearer friends that make your life special. They are the ones who wipe your tears during those ugly times. They are the ones who hold your hand and walk you out of trouble. They are the ones whom you want to help. Not only that, you know that you too will stand for them. But when the people in this category hurt you, then you are left too dumbfounded to come out of it. It is still easy to forget the misery when a so-so friend hurts you.  You can still forgive your partner when they betray you. But it isn't easy to forget the heartache which a best friend gives you. A best friend, with whom you share everything. Every damn thing, for God's sake. And if that friend hurts you. It leaves you shattered.

If best friends are really so important in our lives then why do we have to lie to them.
If best friends really know everything about your life, then why are they deprived of another secret.
If best friends can really take you out of trouble then why can't we trust them completely.
If best friends wipe your tears, then why are they the ones to make you cry the most.

This is my story

And that girl in the balcony.. Sadly, that was me...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Diamonds are a girl's best friends

A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you at the automat
Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Marilyn Monroe's song may have gained popularity but I have to agree that diamonds are a girl's best friend. I must have heard this phrase about a thousand times before I heard this song. And so I agree with James Bond. Diamonds are Forever.

I am a sucker for diamonds. Those who know me must have noticed my diamond earings, my diamond ring, my diamond pendant and now the newly added item to the list is my diamond bracelet. Today, my mom was checking out her jewellery and I did not notice my mouth open wide when I saw her amazing collection.

Greedy that I became on seeing those dazzling stones I asked her, "When am I going to get all these"

"On your wedding", came the reply.

This is the only reason why I want to get married. I just can't wait to flaunt my neckline with those sparkling diamonds. I can't wait for those rings to look stunning on my slim fingers. I can't wait for those glittering pieces to adorn my earlobes. I just cannot wait any longer.

Diamonds give me a high. They give me an orgasm too. My jaw drops when I look at those animated stones shining away to glory.

So, I was just wondering why do I need a guy after all. Ofcourse apart from the fact that I will be the proud owner of these fabulous jewels only when I get married, there is none. And all the guys reading this must have understood what diamonds mean to me. As a word of caution, if you are thinking of marrying me and taking over my priced possession then beware. You wont even get to look at them. They are mine. Just mine. So all the greedy heads, just back off....


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wedding Season

Yesterday, I went to this wedding of a friend. Not exactly a friend. But my friend's brother was getting married. And it was yesterday that I came to know what lovely people exist on this earth. Really. I mean it. Well actually, I was feeling a bit out of place. Among all the relatives, I was the only friend (the groom's brother's friend). To top it all, I was meeting his family for the first time. In the beginning, I felt awkward. But thanks to his family, I loved every second of those few hours that I spent there. Well, don't take me wrong here. I am not exaggerating. Trust me, they are really nice people.

My friend wasn't even taking me home but I forced him to take me. The thing is that I love shaadi ka ghar. Some people find it weird but I enjoy it the most. People getting super busy, running around, guests pouring in at weird times, one person shouting at the other, everybody getting restless, no body has time, no body knows what is to be done next. It is more more than this but I think I am out of practice (Please dont mind, sometimes I can be very bad at jokes. I am sure you will read it again and see if it really was a joke. Sowie..). But thats the truth actually. I went to a wedding after a long long time. I mean, I just go in as a guest, have dinner, click photographs with the bride and the groom and come back). But this was different.

I don't know but being a part of the wedding chores made me so excited that I couldn't sleep the night before. The last time I got into these kinda celebrations was about....mmm.... lemme see... 8 years back. We have not had a wedding so close in the family (or friends). 2-3 of my cousins got married but I always had exams during that time so my folks made me stay back and study. Thats the reason why this wedding was so different. I had no exams. :D

So, I was telling you guys about the lovely people I was surrounded by. My friend's parents are amazing. His mother was literally taking care of me as if I was a small girl who has got lost in a new place. Well, I was feeling lost but when she first gave me that smile, I was so relieved. She kept close to me during the baraat. And I loved it. And my friend's elder bhabhi was damn sweet. Everytime she wanted to dance in the baraat, she would hold my hand and start dancing. In the beginning I was avoiding the dance 'coz I wasn't sure what the relatives are going to think. But the entire family's warmth towards me, made me feel at home. Even his father kept his eyes fixed on me and would give a smile every now and then made me feel comfortable. And the eldest brother(did I mention that they are three brothers out of which the middle one was getting married) was just too good. He was so nice to me. Obviously, he had inherited the genes from his mother and father. So there wasn't a doubt about it. Though I did not really get a chance to speak to his brother (who was getting married), but I hope that I will in future.

Sadly, I did not even get a chance to compliment them about the arrangements and the food. It was all too good. It just made the wedding complete.

I wish good luck to the newly married couple. May their life be filled with sunshine, laughter and happiness (Frankly, this is a sentence which I have been using since childhood. Thats all that comes out when I have to wish somebody. I wish I had said something better but I cant really think of anything else.)

PS 1: I hope that they like the gift which I gave them. For people who are so nice, I think they deserve something much better than these materialistic small gifts.

PS 2: There is another wedding lined up. A very close friend is getting married. It is actually the first time when a close friend is getting married. So I am super excited about it. It means that I will be buying some new clothes. But something more motivating will be to fit into my old clothes (not exactly old since I have just worn them once or twice). I gotta loose weight before that. I have just a month in hand... Wish me luck..