Monday, December 7, 2009

Friends, who are not just friends

It was a cold winter evening. She stood in the balcony of her apartment on the 7th floor. With a mug in her hand, she silently took a sip of her coffee. It didn't taste too good. The coffee was not as strong as she was used to. A coffee addict that she was, she walked towards the kitchen and very silently she took out the coffee jar from the cabinet which stood about half a feet above her 5'2" frame. She let out a small laugh as she compared herself with her best friend who was much taller than her. That gave her a heart ache. Thinking about her best friend made her upset. She quickly brewed another mug of coffee and walked back to the balcony. Her eyes followed the long road which was bustling with cars. Her gaze reached uptil the horizon. Until she could see no further. And then a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it off with the back of her hand and sipped her coffee. Though there was no one at home, she still did not want to cry. She did not want to look weak. Not in her own eyes. Fighting her own tears, she stood in the balcony and continued to stare at the world moving fast in front of her...





No one can live a life in isolation. Everybody has a family. A family, which really cares about you. A family for which you care about. Then there are friends around you to make you laugh, to make you happy, to bring a smile on your face. Also there are some dearer friends that make your life special. They are the ones who wipe your tears during those ugly times. They are the ones who hold your hand and walk you out of trouble. They are the ones whom you want to help. Not only that, you know that you too will stand for them. But when the people in this category hurt you, then you are left too dumbfounded to come out of it. It is still easy to forget the misery when a so-so friend hurts you.  You can still forgive your partner when they betray you. But it isn't easy to forget the heartache which a best friend gives you. A best friend, with whom you share everything. Every damn thing, for God's sake. And if that friend hurts you. It leaves you shattered.

If best friends are really so important in our lives then why do we have to lie to them.
If best friends really know everything about your life, then why are they deprived of another secret.
If best friends can really take you out of trouble then why can't we trust them completely.
If best friends wipe your tears, then why are they the ones to make you cry the most.

This is my story

And that girl in the balcony.. Sadly, that was me...

28 comments:

anjugandhi said...

very heart touching post and some thinkable points.
friends and family both have their place in our life.we cannot do without them.and they are the ones who hurt us the most with their behavour, comments and attitude
and we have to learn to live with that.
just don't be sad, let things taket their own good time and every thing will fall in place
come out of this mood and smile

Ramit said...

Anju ji said it all very perfectly.
I would like to add that you should try to make an effort to call up your friend once and try to make things up.

Good buddies are hard to find.

I'm hoping your said best friend reads this somehow and calls you herself.

Chandni.. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
punia said...

i thought, i was ur best frnd... :-P , oh god, wht shud i do now after knowing dis bitter truth, i need sum coffee n sum nicotine.
Chil mar, evrythin wil fal into ryt place, dont push urself n giv sum space 2 evry1 includin urself.....

Renu said...

In our life only those people hurt us whom we love the most, because our love for them gives them this power.

Dont know exactly what happened, may be there is a misunderstanding and if that person hurt you knowingly , then you are better off without such people, she wasnt your friend really.

Just chill..sometimes everything falls in its place after some time, tomorrow you will feel as if nothing happened.
wish that everything is fine till tomorrow, till then chill.

Chanz said...

Haha Punia.. Dont be hurt..best... And now you must buy me diamond earings to bribe me... And if you do then I will leave all my best friends.. and make you ma bestest friend... lol...

Chanz said...

@ Renu : and this girl is one of those whom I really love a lot. No wonder she is trying her best to hurt me. The truth is that she is making a wrong decision. And I dont want to leave her side.. Not in her bad times... Thats why I feel hopeless... Coz I want to help and she doesnt want ma help. My conscience doesnt allow me to leave her.. yet she wantes me to go away... :(

I hope everything gets back on the track... The sooner, the better...

Need your wishes people...

Chanz said...

:) thanks anju for encouraging me... I know it hurts but you right, I have to learn to live with it...

And Ramit. Sadly my friend does not have access to internet these days. So she may not read this. Infact she doesn't even want to talk to me for no fault of mine.. :(

Sorcerer said...

I started reading it and I had this feeling the girl could be you cuz, the word carried its true emotions.

I believe in this simple theory.
"Human beings are simple..but emotions are complex."

_______

If best friends are really so important in our lives then why do we have to lie to them.
* Cuz..we dont want to hurt them with our problems,

If best friends really know everything about your life, then why are they deprived of another secret.
* cuz.sometimes secret would be a disaster if shared. It could be better, if we dont know about it.(may be for our good or for the good of the relationship)


If best friends can really take you out of trouble then why can't we trust them completely.
* Trust, depends a lot on emotions. emotions guide actions.
some things are not based on trust alone.


If best friends wipe your tears, then why are they the ones to make you cry the most.
* We cry because, we fail to understand which we say we understand.


There could be a time when the whole messup clears and you would be laughing at it with your friend.

Just have faith..in yourself and in the friendship.
Afterall this is what we call spice of life.

Darshan Chande said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
indianhomemaker said...

Those who we love, we also give the power to hurt us. I hope this sorts out and you best friends are happy again.

But if somebody hurts us too often or for too long, then we should not consider them best friends, or any friends at all.

Nipun said...

Well said chanz..
There are times when this happens.
It has happened with me and now I can connect with you.
But we have a weapon which keeps us above all of them, our writing.
Just keep on writing n u'll feel better.
I wrote a poem after being getting hurt that time.
Its surely heart breaking to an extent and i know what you feel bout your best friend from some of your last posts. But you need to except the fact that Life Goes On.
Forget everything. Just come out of it asap.
I am still in a dilemma whether to tell my feelings to my best friend or not....:(
Its getting longer.
I must stop it now....
Take care dear!!
Nuts

Chanz said...

@ Sorcerer : I entirely agree with your theory... And each day when I go to sleep, i wish for a simple life. But, that isn't very easy. Is it..??

n talking about the simple yet twisted questions that you answered:

1) A lie is always a lie. I dont know how others think. But I expect my best friends to tell me the truth even if hurts me. when your close friends lie, you never know it may happen again...

2)if we really are best friends then no secret would destroy the relationship. However this point wouldn't hold true if the two people concerned are a couple.

3) Trust is a very sensitive thing. It decides the fate of every relationship. The closer the relation, the more important it becomes to trust (and to be trusted)

4) Here i agree with you. Tears are not in our control. And they come out mostly when we do not understand what we say and what we hear.

Nevertheless, these kind of fights makes every relationship stronger (cheers to the person who said this)

Chanz said...

@ indianhomemaker : I would say the same thing to say... trust is sometimes the deciding factor behind every relation.. If a friend hurts you every now and then, the trust tends to decrease the love and affection... and the relationship fails to survive..

Here I agree to what Charles Darwin had to say "Survival of the fittest". It not only hold true in the case of species evolving in and out, but also explains about relationships.

PS: Nobody said this (none that I know about), but this is what I believe..

Sorcerer said...

yeah..you are right

relationship gets tested. when it stands that test, we know..that it was true.
:)

Chanz said...

@ Nipun : I would love to read your poem. Do send me the link (if it is on your blog)..

And if i could give a piece of advice then go ahead and tell your best friend about it. She will understand. Talking helps. Atleast you will not have any regrets later. Trust me, regrets can kill you. And once upon a time, it nearly killed me. And till date, whenever I think about my regrets, it just brings sorrow and nothing else.. I dont know the history between you and your best friend but goining by what life has taught me, I would want you to tell your best friend...

Cheers dude...

Tara said...

If everyone behaves as we expect then whats the challenege dear ? who failed doesnt matter but its worth giving a try for good friends are hard to find !

Chanz said...

Thats true Tara. And here I also agree with Sorcerer. This is the spice of life.

oRange* said...

hey, that was one touching post chanz ..
but really, departures too happen for a reason :)

*hugs*

chitz said...

beautiful post..people remain the same,but sometimes the characters they portray change...it happens with best friends too..cheer up girl,n face it with a smile..:)

Darshan Chande said...

Hey, I read the "Lust" in my reader... Where's that post... Why deleted from the blog?

Chanz said...

@ Orange : well ya.. wish we could live with all those whom we care about

Chanz said...

@ Chitz : Thanks sweety.. And thanks to all guy who have given their thoughts of wisdom and have supported me.. Thanks guy...


All of you rock...

Love u all...

Chanz said...

Hi Darshan... Well I actually deleted it by mistake... But now I have posted it again... Do leave in your views.. :)

Readers Dais said...

Hi! Chanz,
First time to ur blog & loved this one,uve been able to express true emotions really well could realte to it...
About a true freind, as u said rather than a partner a true freind is someone with whom we can share,as its unconditional,so y lie ,if we have the trust that the freind is always there to take in heart your pains & joy,If not for this its never a TRUE FREIND,which is difficult to find in this world,as expectations always rule the relation and open communication lacks,Pause the former & play the latter u will have a true friend... :)

Shivani said...

Hey Chandni, nicely written post (like always) but to be honest, I've never been able to relate with the term "best friends". Atleast not anymore. During school days, any friend we were close to was the "best friend" but things have changed. People change. That's true. In a world where everyone's self centered (including the so-called friends), crying while thinking of them isn't a good thing.

When you trust someone, be sure he/she is worthy of it. Don't waste your emotions over some jerk who might stab you behind your back or who're the reason why you cry and they leave you to cry alone. Ya' know what I mean?

I'm talking out of my experience. So dont think I'm preaching or something.

Chal kudiye.. hun chill maar ;-)

Chanz said...

@ Readers Dais : Exactly ma point. But then expectations are quite difficult to control. Te closer you are to a person, the more you expect

Chanz said...

@ Shivan : I understand what you are trying to say honey. Even I have faced quite a lot of hardships when it comes to friends, but this friend of mine has been with me since school. So I cant help it. I love her way too much to leave her after 7-8 years...

I am a lucky girlt to have them in my life and I dont wnat to leave her at any cost..