BEWARE.. Dont lend happiness

Whoever said that happiness comes in a complete package is terribly wrong. And the person who said that happiness comes to those who are lucky, must be ignorant of what happiness is. Well, I guess that happiness comes to those who are unlucky. I am a lucky girl, thats what everybody says. But happiness doesnt come so easily.

Oflate, I have noticed that no matter what I do to make others happy, it backfires and leaves me upset. I try to make one person happy, inturn I end up making the other person sad. This is not something new that is happening. But its been going on since forever..

There is a marriage counselor i know. She is just an aquaintance. I came to know that she had an awful marriage. Her husband used to beat her up. Her in-laws were against her. Her marriage ended in a divorce. And she is now a marriage counselor.

Then there are the reiki healers. They are supposed to give you peace of mind by instilling positive energy in you. They are the ones who take the negative energy out of you. Thats what everybody knows about them. But the reality is that they have to face the turmoil of that negativity, all alone. Mental instability is what they get after providing stability to others.

The astrologers (who are considered to be frauds by most people). They tell you (or rather warn you) about all the bad things that could possibly hapen to you and thereby tell you ways to minimise the effects of the so called 'bad phase'. But have you ever wondered why they cannot predict anything about themselves correctly.

The point I want to make here is that those who lend happiness to others, they tend to be the most unhappy of the lot.

Lets, for a minute, forget all these professional counselors, reiki masters, astrologers, and even the doctors and the like. Lets just concentrate on our own selves. In our daily lives. That happens with everybody. I think so. And I am not different. Or maybe I am 'coz people keep telling me that I am quite different. I call myself lucky. Lucky without any happiness. Lucky. Thats what I am.

You know what.. (Actually I had promised myself that I will keep this post general and not talk about my sorrows but I just can't control and I don't want the flow of my feelings to break). Back to the point, I was telling you about my unhappiness. Well, no matter how much I try to make the others happy, I always leave one or the other person sad. And that one person makes my life hell in making me realise that the happiness that I so wishfully imparted was a wrong decision. And when I do something good to make up for the one who unknowingly became a victim of my happiness-turned-sour, it makes a third person sad. And the vicious cycle continues. And I am the one who suffers the assault.

But then life goes on. We keep walking down the lane hoping that i will be happy and the people around m will be happy with what I do for them.

Hopefully..

(Sigh)